Ticked at my Wife- Men, I Need Your Help!
My wife has just assaulted me on the World Wide Web. It is an attempt to chick-ify me in front of the world and I simply can't stand for it. First, let me say that when I asked her out on our first date, she said, and I quote, "I will only go out with you if you will stop being so cocky." My response was, "You are lucky I even called." Now, I will admit that there was some gamesmanship involved on my part. I wanted to go out with her badly. But, I could not let her know. That's how the game works.
My perspective on life has not change. I was no sweater vest wearing pansy when we married. I am no panty waisted little petunia today. I am the King of my castle and simply cannot afford to back down in the face of this open rebellion!
At this very moment, she is hyping up a bunch of hormonal man-hating chicks over on her blog. It looks like a lynch mob and I'm the target. I seriously need your help. Please spread this news far and wide. If a man ever needed his friends, that time is now!
MEN ONLY - go here and help rescue me from this crowd of Angry Hormonal Females!!!
Gentlemen, this is a truly momentous day. I feel the tide turning in favor of all men everywhere. Thank you for your overwhelming support!
Posted by: travis johnson | August 18, 2006 at 07:52 AM
Anytime brother...
Now which funeral home should we send the wreathes to?
Posted by: Phil Hoover | August 18, 2006 at 10:31 AM
Though she started it, I am considering an Olmert-styled unilateral withdrawal...before its too late.
Posted by: travis johnson | August 18, 2006 at 10:33 AM
28 testosterone filled responses later, she responds. It isn't good either. She used the dreaded phrase for which there is no safe reply, "If you really loved me..." YIKES!
Posted by: travis johnson | August 18, 2006 at 10:37 AM
Puuuuleez - there are not 28 testoterone filled comments. Stop counting like a pastor. I have a few supporters over there. I would have more except not as many women are on here... they are all offline taking care of their husbands and babies... probably even cleaning the toilets.
Posted by: Kelly Johnson | August 18, 2006 at 10:48 AM
Be careful, men. She's trying to outflank us.
Posted by: travis johnson | August 18, 2006 at 10:55 AM
KELLY said:
"they are all offline taking care of their husbands and babies... probably even cleaning the toilets."
ME: And, what's the problem with this?
Posted by: travis johnson | August 18, 2006 at 10:56 AM
ROFLMHO at "stop counting like a pastor" comment!
Kelly darling, that was PRICELESS.
Posted by: Phil Hoover | August 18, 2006 at 11:38 AM
TRAVIS, never let it be said that you pal Phil Hoover, "didn't come to your rescue."
I even blogged about your plight today.
So see, you really do "rank."
For whatever that is worth.
Posted by: Phil Hoover | August 18, 2006 at 12:42 PM
The extra pillows and sheets are in the linen closet. I recommend the couch in the family room, it is more comfy than the leather one in the living room.
Posted by: Kelly Johnson | August 18, 2006 at 03:59 PM
Which raises another question, why is it that it's expected that the man should sleep on the couch when disagreements occur?! I'm protesting this too.
Posted by: johnsmulo | August 18, 2006 at 07:03 PM
Stand tall Travis, I'm reminded of Napoleon who before you, searched to conquer Russia. Women, my friend, are a much more dangerous affair.
Anyway, couches aren't all that bad! Better than the front porch!
Posted by: Rob Petrini | August 18, 2006 at 10:16 PM
this is why i don't let my wife have a blog.
actually, i have four sons. trust me - where the lid is has NOTHING to do with it for these boys.
Posted by: dan ohlerking | August 19, 2006 at 02:48 AM
Done deal. I went over there and sort the issue out. Just needed some male problem solving.
Posted by: Mark Wilson | August 19, 2006 at 10:19 AM
Solution: Use the sink.
That'll teach her.
Rich
BlogRodent
:: grinning, ducking and running ::
Posted by: Rich Tatum | May 30, 2007 at 10:30 AM